stressed

Things have been so up and down with Bill and I lately. To be honest I have no clue what is going to happen with us, or even what I want to happen. We both do things that we know will make the other mad and therefore, we're fighting all the time. I feel bad for Evan, he's the one that is suffering. Saturday night we got into a fight and Evan woke up.. Bill ended up getting mad and leaving. The next day when Bill came home, Evan just stood there looking back and forth to see if we were going to fight again. It broke my heart. So now I really don't know what to do. Part of me thinks that we've done too much to ever make it work and the other part of me wants nothing more than to try to make it work. So I'm torn, stay and try to make it work or end it?

Evan dancing in highchair

A day at the lake..

Since I finally had a wednesday off, AND it was nice outside Evan and I went to the lake with Ron, Nicole, and Alexis. When we got to the lake I was carrying Evan down the dock and noticed I was getting wet... it was neither my water bottle or Evan's cup. Evan was peeing on me! So we go and get changed and then get in the boat. We cruised around for a while and then went to Ron's friend, Sean's cottage. Then, we went tubing and swam for a while. Evan loved the water, Alexis however refused to get in the water but loved the boat. Then we went to the switz for all you can eat crab legs!!

When we got back to Nicole's, I am again holding Evan... only for him to pee on me again! Apparently swim diapers are more comfortable for toddlers because they don't blow up when in water, but they cannot hold pee very well! Evan then had to wear one of Lexi's princess pull-ups back to our house.

Evan driving the boat

Nicole and Ron

Evan and Alexis on our way to the lake!

update..

mom's home from the hospital and doing okay. evan was mad because she couldn't pick him up. dad has to have surgery on his eye next week.

Fourth of July

The weekend started out good. I had Friday night off work so I got to see my friends Pat and Hilary that were home for the weekend. Later that night Tracie and I went out. Everyone was at the lake or camping so the bars were pretty dead, but we had fun.

Saturday I had to work during the day. It was really dead so I got out at 6 then Evan and I went to meet Jerri and her kids to go to fireworks at Ives Run (best fireworks I've ever seen). Evan did pretty well with the fireworks. Had to cover his ears but other than that he liked them.

Saturday night Bill and I are watching a movie and my phone starts ringing- it's my aunt Barb. She was at the hospital with my parents. They wrecked the motorcycle. Mom had to have surgery- they couldn't get her spleen to stop bleeding so they had to remove it. She also has a broken collarbone so shes pretty sore. Dad broke his cheek bone and the bone around his eye- so it was swelled shut. They also had to glue his nose together becuase it got split right down the middle.

Both my parents are doing okay- dad got released that night. I had to go to his house and stay with him because he had a concussion so they didn't want him to be at home alone. He might have to have surgery on his eye, but its opening up and he can see out of it so thats good. Mom's still in the hospital. They moved her out of ICU but they're not sure when she can come home..

Phillies vs Yankees!

Bill's boss Mike bought tickets for the Yankees vs. Phillies at the new Yankee Stadium. It was a lot of fun. 13 of us went and Mike paid for pretty much everything. He said he just wanted to show them that he appreciates his management team. Everyone we went with was Yankee fans and of course since Bill is from Philadelphia we wore Phillies shirts! It was a great game. Phillies won 4-3 in extra innings.



On the way home we stopped in Jersey to get gas and were talking about where to eat. Mike said since we were gonna be getting home late he would rather get fast food and keep on the road. Everyone was okay with it except Tracy who was in the bathroom and didn't get to voice her opinion. Since we were leading we stopped at this steak house since it was the first place we saw. Bill looks over and sees a guy that appears to be dead with his head on the steering wheel and truck still running. The guys go over to check it out and the guy had a syringe in his hand and a tow rope in his lap. So we go in and tell the manager who calls 911. Guy ended up waking up but I'm pretty sure he was going to jail for shootin up in the back parking lot!

All in all the day was a lot of fun but extremely long!

No-win situation..

Alyssa, I have to say, I'm slightly jealous of your life and your family and how well things are going for you (jealous but also super happy for you, you deserve it!). Lately, Bill and I just don't get along.. I sometimes wonder if him moving here wasn't the best idea. We don't have anything in common, and we don't do anything together. Days off he spends in the garage doing whatever to the jeep, so regardless if Bill's off or at work I have to have my mom or Daleann (my friends mom that watches Evan for me) watch Evan if I need to do something or go somewhere without him. I guess I imagined that when he moved here it would be like a fairytale and its just not. So this is my little bitchfest because I need to vent..

Daleann keeps Evan on Friday nights because usually both of us work late and than have to be back to work early the next day and it gives us a break which is nice! So last night I got out early and Nicole and I went to Applebees and ate. A couple of my friends called to see if I wanted to go out so I text Bill and told him to just let me know when he would be done with work and I would call a taxi and come home.. so he texted me at about 1030 and I said I would grab a cab and he told me not to worry about it, just don't be out until 3am. So I hangout a little longer and at 1230 I call a cab and go home. Normally, he would get mad because I would go to afterhours or whatever but I went home BEFORE the bar closed in an attempt to not make him mad. Apparently my attempt didn't work because he was still mad. For what I'm not really sure but he was!


Every year Bill does a fishing tournament the first weekend in June with his friend Steve. So he's been talking about it lately because it's coming up.. (please tell me if this is out of line): I tell him that since his parents don't see Evan a whole lot and he's going to be in Williamsport anyways why not ask his parents if they would want to watch Evan that weekend. I'll be at work anyways most of the time and it would give my parents a break since they have one or both of the grandkids pretty much every day. He says that his parents work on Friday and he's going down Thursday night so it wouldn't work. However, his sister lives 5 mins from them and doesn't work and offers all the time for Evan or all three of us to stay at her house. So I suggest that maybe she could watch Evan Thursday night and Friday until his parents are done work. Then he gets defensive and thinks that I have big plans for that weekend or something and thats why I want them both gone. Clearly, he's allowed a weekend alone and I am not.


He washes work clothes only... when asked to HELP me do the dishes he refuses.. and completely doesn't understand that school is like having a second job therefore I cannot possibly take care of Evan, pick up after both of them, and clean the house all by myself.. oh and still get the piles of homework done! This probably being the reason why I failed my class this semester (fill ya in on that one another time).


This one is definitely the topping on the cake...
About a month ago I found emails from his ex Jade. Yes the crazy one that keyed my car and made my life hell the whole time I was pregnant. He told her that he only moved here because she left him and he had no other choice.


I know you're probably like this guy is a flaming douchebag and you need to get away but I don't know what to do anymore. I wanna give up.

Happy Mom's Day to me!

Bill and I went and got a couple's massage yesterday for mother's day. It was nice to do something just the two of us- even though we didnt really talk or anything! Quietness was nice... and the massage was amazing!

Cock-a-doodle-doo

For those of you who didn't know.. Bill is from Philadelphia- therefore, he is a huuuge eagles fan. Evan's new favorite word is "cock-a-doodle-doo" and every time we go outside he points to this tin rooster thing on the neighbors porch and says "cock-a-doodle-doo" over and over. How does this have to deal with the fact that Bill's from Philly?? well.. Evan thinks it's funny to point to eagles stuff and say "cock-a-doodle-doo" as Bill repeatedly trys to explain to him that its an eagle not a rooster! I told Bill that he has to tell Evan what a eagle says and his response? " I don't know what an eagle says!" It's quite hilarious!